Of Cigarettes & Alcohol

I seriously dont understand the addiction for Cigarettes & Alcohol. I know more than 20 people who smoke as well as drink, but i dont understand why they go through with that. Some people have this weird notion that by drinking regularly, their tolerance would increase, but to what end. What would they benefit thro it. I dont see anything macho about drinking and how do u define tolerance. Is it the time or the no. of glasses before which you totally lose your mind?....lot of questions.... the strangest part about all this is i dont see anyone enjoying their cigarettes or alchol (which is why they wanted to do it in the first place)... i see them all run to get a cigarette. they are extremely happy once they get it...but once they put it in their month...all they think about is finishing that cigarette....why though?...i thought the addiction was because one enjoys it...i might be wrong...maybe my friends and colleagues are a little different...but still...its the same with alcohol...i dont get it...they are extremely pumped up the entire morning thinking about the evening drinks session..but once they start....they just think about finishing the drink...its really idiotic...i dont get it...i thought one does all this to get a kick...or to let his mind wander off....but why though...why are people like this...or is this not the normal way to go about doing these kinds of stuff.......i really dont understand....maybe...i wouldnt for the rest of my life!!

Delusions!!

I have often wondered, why do people dream?...what is the fundamental meaning or purpose behind someone dreaming, how did it get its term, why is there a lot of fuss behind something which does not involve any work and which is considered a bad thing by some people (Teachers, bosses...) and something which others(Abdul Kalam, Martin luther) consider very much necessary. No one knows what happens when you put out the lights in your brain...its either a fantasy or a nightmare, but why?...how can such a small thing cause wide-state disruption....the word "IDEA" was apparently taken from "I DREAM"...how can such a thing transform people into mindless beasts. Such dreams inspire ppl to do so wrong deeds(see 9/11, all other terrorist acts). Why is all this due to a dream which some jackass dreamt of.....If only we could say NO...lets get back to reality..but what can we do..if reality is based on dreams and fantasies...FUCK IT....i cant even think properly....Films like inception strike a chord when these sort of questions are raised....maybe the ultimate solution is to alter people's thoughts... but to wat end??....every good thing has a bad opposite...a balance...of sorts....why cant everything just be good...without a bad element to even the odds?....and why did i dream all of this prior to writing this blog..............

Deja Vu???!!!

I was walking alongside the road looking at two women (note: looking not gawking!!) when i realised that i have seen them somewhere, it felt weird...the women were nationals...i couldn have seen them anywhere...i tried to think of a lot of movies (all kinds of movies) and still i couldn't figure it out... it was weird...i didn know if it was the familiarity of the women or the familiarity of the situatiom (me looking at two ppl at the same distance and same angle of observation)...it was like deja vu or some crap....and it was not the first time.....i didn kno wat to call it...ESP..some rare gift...or just the heat playing wild tricks (which is very much possible)....but still it left me thinking....for a long time...and my walk to my house was filled with such thoughts of how it was possible..i still do not know...this was definitely not the first time...there were lot of situations wherein i had predicted to the exact degree.. what would happen...but i didn know when i predicted and why...i just remembered at that instant that i had thought of that exact moment..in the past(really really weird!!)....and i am not able to explain it...maybe we time travel in our dreams...or we dream abt events which will happen in the future...it is possible...we might not dream always abt the future...but sometimes when u are fast asleep and not in control of your dreams....it is possible...and we wont know at that instant.....we are dreaming abt the future..abt things that would unfold...which makes it more artificial and dream-like....still it is something to think abt.....not dream...but think abt.....for all we kno..scientists might actually be pondering over the same situation.....and we might be dreaming abt them pondering.....a vicious circle of endless dreams abt the future..seriously...DEJA VU!!!...and now i have lost myself in this blog...!!

Finally!!....

Let me start first with the idea of writing this blog.......
I am the laziest person in the world, well atleast in my world which consists of the people surrounding me like my frnds, parents, etc etc..........., So being the laziest person in my world, i didn think i wud be able to write a blog. The laziness had changed my total perception of things...It had limited my uses greatly...creating images in my owm mind and developing limitaions, one of which was creating a blog...so obviously for me to have started this blog, there must have been some external resource ans as always there was or shdi say is....anyway it was a frnd...a brother perhaps..frnd wud be alienating him.He has been with me for the past 11 years and i have known him for 16 right frm my first standard.According to him, i always used to do things that wud benefit only me and not others and i used to fight with him a lot on tht topic...but only now have i realised tht tht statement was 90% true as in i did do something only if it proved beneficial..and if it proved beneficial to everybody..not only me.......like everyother guy in the planet... i was attention seeking...i wanted people to notice me...to notice what i have done...except tht after 21 years i had not accomplished anything...exccpt finishing schooling and college...and this wud be the dumbest thing to say...but i think this blog to be an accomplishment...it might be meagre...not even worth thinking abt to some of u...but to those who have known me..they wud feel its a start........not bcos i was scared of writing it or for fear of committing mistakes...but bcos i didn hav the inspiration.i didn have the drive to do anything like this.....and it was not my fault, but due to certain other factors that had completely wiped away my inspirational quality ( which will be revealed in later posts ).. and i always thought tht bcos it was not my fault..i wudn hav to do anything abt it....only now do i realise the mistake..a foolish mistake..only now hav i realised tht even though its not my fault..i am still the one losing frm it......and so to get out frm tht alternate reality of my own pitiful self, i started with this blog...really crazy..some of u might think...but apart from my flaws...i also have a good side...an advanatge abt myself...i need a tiny spark..a tiny ray of hope...to start something truly magnificent...to bring out my true self...to bring out the untouched and unused powers within......now goin back to the brotherly friend...he started his blog 3 years back...and looking at the way hes developed in it is amazing..at tht time i didn hav the basic decency of even replying or commenting to his blogs even though he had asked me hundreds of times to do so...i was so lazy tht i felt tht if i didn reply for long...he wud stop bugging me with it..but he didn..and thats what made me start my first blog..if one person can find my thoughts so important as to comment on his blog..then i felt tht i cud probably start my own..and see how it turns out...and thats the reason for the 150 odd words above...it might be dumb to call this as an inspiration to some of u...but the fact that i have actually created this blog is something of an inspirations by itself...it has slowly started a fire..a small glow radiating from the depths of ineptitude and underneath all the thick layers of self-loathing and laziness...a small glow waiting...to get bigger..to burn everything in its path..lets hope that it does get bigger.....lets hope that it acts as a spark and fuels an even bigger and radiant fire..a fire which would destroy the dense forests of my own shortcomings..a fire which lets me radiate not only in the inside, but also on the outside.....radiate freedom...radiate passion....radiate confidence.....